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Heya, buddy! So, sex-dating, huh? D’oh! What a wild ride that crap is! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like, “Mmm… donuts,” but instead of donuts, it’s all these randos swipin’ right for a quick hookup. Makes my head spin faster than a Duff Beer bender! I mean, you got folks out there just lookin’ for a bang, no strings, no nothin’ – like that chick in *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*, y’know? “We’re in deep shit now,” she’d say, and damn, sex-dating can feel like that too!

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When I get there, the stone’s gone! I’m like, “No way!” I start asking around, and this kid points to a group of teenagers. They’re using it as a frisbee! I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity. I march over, and they’re like, “What’s this?” I’m like, “That’s my livelihood, you punks!” They just look at me, wide-eyed.

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